Sept |30|2023 || Saturday || 8:18pm
Feeling: So excited! 
The LAST DAY OF SEPTEMBER LETS FUCKING GO!!!
The tickets to go to Universal are secured and we are going two nights instead of one so we can experience the park and then also the horror nights without being over stressed all weekend. Which means we'll come back on Monday which is chill. I was planning to take off Tuesday but there's going to be so many festivities TT0TT so I might push through and go to work. Lol we'll see.
I'm just so excited because I love October and I LOVE HALLOWEEENNN!!!! Oh man. And this is my birthday month so I'm excited! I'm going to go Halloween shopping to decorate my work desk tomorrow! Going to make it all spooky!! We also have a contest for the best decorations and I don't plan to win but damn I'mma put up a fight.
Anyways I'mma go play some Splatoon now.
Sept |24|2023 || Sunday || 3:02pm
Feeling: waiting for the stage rotation 
I think it's just easier on the internet because you don't really have to mask as much?? Like I can be just weird and goofy and not double check my mannerisms. I think that's why I struggle to build friends online but people IRL are always trying to be my friend. Like they want to be my friend and I'm like, sorry bud but your friend is just a mask. I'm actually very strange. Like how do i explain that. But online, it feels a little easier. I can be strange and obsessive and strange but it doesn't really matter because you don't know me IRL. man does that make any sense :/c
In other news, def going to universal with my coworker/friend which is actually going to be really fun. Like i think this is the first time I've wanted to be someone's friend irl like this?????? I don't know but like yeah.
MAN I was going to try and figure out who i'm going to get the writing section of my website up. Like I'm really struggling on how I want it to be laid out but also readable. Mostly because I hate getting lost in websites. Like man, stinky poopoo!! I should look through how some other people write their literature on their website.
I always say that and then I just spend 3 hours looking at cool peoples websites all evening. :p
Sept |22|2023 || Friday || 7:57pm
Feeling: WELL I MEAN I WAS DOING GREAT AND HAVING A GREAT DAY AND NOW .... nevermind this day is actually pretty great. 
I was about to come in here and rant about how my brother is the worst person alive but now I'm starting to think.... Yeah he is. And that's okay because we aren't going to keep doing this anymore.
I feel more hopeful than I had like literally 30 mins ago. It's wild learning the whole thing. Its wild and crazy and I hate my brother. I hope he understands how bad of a person he is. But I know he won't. It sounds kinda mad. I like going on like this but explaining all the animal abuse would take way too long and honestly I want to go back to eating my pizza. It's so hard for me to leave my room. But I should because I need to try helping more too.
ngl after the break up and losing my apartment and just... everything..... I'm happier. At Least I think so. I feel so well less suicide-y :3c like I dunno right now I feel much more... content.
I still have other problems like I still feel lonely sometimes but I dont feel like..... ya know. I haven't even formed a new habit. hm. Maybe I'm just entering my high highs right now but I'm feeling better.
Okay I think I'm done rambling for now. Time to work on my website
Sept |21|2023 || Thursday || 6:34pm
Feeling: Much better! 
Okay, so like... this can't... ugh trying to fix those stupid lil ‘ is so annoying anyways. I think people shouldn't have to be able to draw every kind of skin tone or body type but I also think that if they are going to do that then they need to stay in their lane. Like if you don't want to draw dark skinned characters fine but you can't lighten a character or make them skinny to fit your style. Like.... bro come on now.
Like what do you even say to that. Even if that's your interpretation of the character it's like that's not the character any more. You can't say like,,, well this is Marina but she has light skin. Like that not "Marina" that's "Marina with light skin" making it semantically not the same character like. Even in reverse it doesnt work bc you cant say that's Marina with darker skin bc that's how she is. That's her original design. That's actually Marina. Like yall get what i mean??????
Anyways, guess who's going to Universal for their birthday next month :3c theres also a halloween desk contest!! So I have to start preparing setting up my desk!
I'm also finally starting to feel alot better. I was so sick all week it was so fucking shitty. That and the red wave make me spiral a lil bit but whats in a week for the manic amiright fellas! Really have to finish my one and only comm this weekend :0c
ps. My mom brought me salted caramel cheesecake :3c
Sept |15|2023 || Friday || 2:53pm
Feeling: ... 
I just want to feel less sad
Sept |15|2023 || Friday || 12:45pm
Feeling: Sad as usual 
OMFG I finally got a thing for my laptop so I can use it while I wait for my spare parts. The hinge is broken and I can't type without sitting my laptop up. Hopefully this will be fine. I'm going to order a new hinge this weekend since I get paid, but man this sucks. I haven't worked on this in so long (like two weeks lol) but I've still be drawing assets and other shit at least.
Anyways my therapist is elongating the time between sessions because she thinks I'm getting better. Lol. I'm not but she's not a good therapist for me anyways. I need one that will challenge me, because I really do have alot of issues but I lie alot. LIKE ALOT. when it comes to how I really feel lol. I don't like burdening others. It makes me feel annoying. And I already know I'm annoying. lol. I annoy myself. lol.
I need to smoke before I start crying again.
Sept |2|2023 || Saturday || 9:15am
Feeling: HIGH ASF BBY SHAKE IT 
Happy three day weekend god fucking bless. I don't have an entry for today really but I wanted to Add the Sept page and I said I would try to do this once a week. So, here I am. lol. But I'm so happy to finally have some time to rest. These two day weekend are just not enough for the amount of stress I have to deal with.
Also, I'm getting bit to shit. my pink and ring finger slightly hurt because they're so bit. I try to cover myself when I'm out and about but I can't cover my fingers! Am I supposed to wear gloves in the tail end of summer!? What the fuck!?
